I am thinking out loud. Ever since I moved here I have been pondering what direction I would like my life to go. I’m not sure what the answer is.
What I like: Adirondacks, a shelter from the elements, a place to exist, garden, food storage, more money coming in
What I don’t like: small LDS branch, health care, living inside, apartment dramas, not traveling
Sometimes my life seems too monotone. The bulk of my time is spent in my bedroom….either sitting in my favorite chair or in bed. That gets too comfortable, too boring. I have spent the last year building up material security. I do not have to worry about where my next meal is coming from. I have clothes for the seasons. I have a fixed address so I can access health care and benefits. OK…so why am I so restless? Why am I getting that itch to do something different?
Part of my problem is that I like challenges. I like having something new to learn or to overcome. Once I get good at a skill, it’s not much fun any more. Whenever I felt like I knew how to do most of a job or a craft or whatever, I was ready to do something else. Homesteading and farming had the ability to engage me for years as there were sooooo many things to learn and do.
I’m REALLY tired of being sick. If there were one thing I would like to walk away from and never look back, it would be physical sickness.
I feel like I need to be more involved with people and places. My biggest gateway to the world is my computer. This laptop is getting old. The keyboard markings are starting to rub off. What will happen to me when the laptop dies? I will be alone in my room.
Somehow I need to throw off the old me and find a new skin….like a hermit crab.
The biggest hole in my life is living apart from my daughter. I miss her. She left three messages on the answering machine this week and I have not called back. I desperately want to talk to her…but not on the phone. I hate telephones.
Sigh….I am a spoiled brat….I don’t know what I want, I just know I need some change….
Why is the professing Body of Christ seemingly so divided, and who or what is causing it?
After all, we all claim to be following the Holy Spirit. That should give all sides something very serious to think about. We can’t all believe different things and still all be right.
According to the Scriptures, here are 3 things that cause division in the professing Church:
1) False teachers allowed to remain in the professing Church
Any time a teacher leaves the Truth, he is sowing division.
Romans 16:17-18 “I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people.”
It is very important to keep in the “teaching we have learned.” That is, the doctrine of Christ and His apostles found in the Bible (not the doctrine taught in a church building or seminary. This is an important distinction.) Those who leave the teaching of Christ and His apostles and teach some other wind of doctrine, or doctrine of demons, are serving themselves and dividing the Body of Christ.
2 Peter 2:1-3 “But there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the sovereign Lord who bought them—bringing swift destruction on themselves. Many will follow their shameful ways and will bring the way of truth into disrepute. In their greed these teachers will exploit you with stories they have made up. Their condemnation has long been hanging over them, and their destruction has not been sleeping.”
The “way of Truth” will fall into disrepute because of these false teachers whom “many will follow.” The phrase “denying the sovereign Lord who bought them” suggests that these teachers were walking in Truth at one time, but have left the right way and are now taking others with them. Those who follow these blind guides have stopped following Jesus, the only Way of salvation. Because they are deceived, they will claim they are still following God, to the shock and dismay of those who have remained faithful to Jesus. Now two opposing groups will claim to be serving Jesus and following the same Spirit. Thus division is created in the professing Body of Christ by false teachers and those who follow them.
Jude 18-19 They said to you, “In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.” These are the men who divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit.
2) Siding with the Truth (or not)
Jesus, who is the Truth, said He came to bring division that would even tear families apart.
Luke 12:51-53 “Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”
Those who side with satan, “the god of this world,” will naturally despise those who side with Christ—the One who testifies that the world’s deeds are evil (John 7:7). A natural division occurs between light and darkness, Christ and Belial, righteousness and wickedness, and the temple of God and idols. (2 Cor. 6:14-16)
John 15:19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
Jesus is called the “Word made Flesh.” The Word of God is even said to divide.
Heb.4:12 “For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”
Those who subject themselves to the Word of God will become divided from those who do not. (John 7:43, John 9:16, John 10:19)
In the world (and professing church) as it presently stands, there are wheat and tares growing up together. (Matt. 13:24-30) The wheat CAN BE distinguished from the tares by the servants of God. But they are allowed to co-exist until the time of harvest, when the “reapers” will permanently separate them. The Lord knows those who are His (2 Tim. 2:19).
3) Testing
Believers are tested by heresies, to see if they will remain in the doctrine of Christ or not. This testing causes division between those who are approved by God, and those who are not.
I Cor. 11:18-19 For first of all, when ye come together in the church, I hear that there be divisions among you; and I partly believe it. For there must be also heresies among you, that they which are approved may be made manifest among you.
It is also important to realize that we are to study to show ourselves approved unto God, workmen that need not to be ashamed because we rightly divide the Word of Truth! (2 Tim. 2:15)
It is very important to abide in correct doctrine—so important that even salvation is at stake!
I John 2:24 Let what you heard from the beginning abide in you. If what you heard from the beginning abides in you, then you will abide in the Son and in the Father.
2 John 1:9 Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son.
Paul cursed those who taught any gospel other than what had already been taught. (Gal.1:6-9)
Anyone who runs ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Christ does not have God; whoever continues in the teaching has both the Father and the Son. If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not take him into your house or welcome him. (2 John 9-10)
We will be tested by heresies, just as Eve was tempted in the garden of Eden. Eve fell because she believed the words of a deceiver (she believed false doctrine) that questioned WHAT GOD HAD ALREADY SAID. Satan promised Eve an experience that she couldn’t pass up. The Holy Spirit will NEVER contradict the Bible, which He authored. The Scriptures are able to make us wise unto salvation, and thoroughly equip us to live holy lives abounding in good works (2 Tim.3:15-17).
So what about unity?
Didn’t Jesus pray that His disciples would be one? (John 17:17)
Yes, and His true disciples ARE ONE. They abide in His teaching, and His Word abides in them. They together abide in Christ, and they stand together against the false teachings that are threatening the flock. (Titus 1:9, Romans 16:17, Jude 3, 2 Cor. 6:17)
The disciples of Christ are denying themselves and carrying crosses, dying to this life and loving not this world nor the things in this world. Because their focus is on Jesus Christ alone, and they are not carried away by every wind of doctrine, they are united—even though they may not even know each other. They are satisfied with their daily bread, trusting that man shall indeed live by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. They are not divided because of skin color or nationality. They are not divided due to wealth/poverty, or station in life. They are people of peace and they love one another. They do not take advantage of one another, or lord it over one another. They do not lie to one another, and they do not elevate themselves over one another—rather the greatest among them is the servant of all.
These love God with all their hearts, souls, minds, and strength; and they love their neighbors as themselves. They help the weak and gullible by rescuing them from the mouths of wolves. They often do this by exposing false teaching and false teachers, which unfortunately earns them a reputation for being “divisive.”
God bless you.
Happy Thanksgiving Eve! Hope you’re prepared for a wonderful holiday tomorrow. I am…ready to enjoy some turkey, stuffing, mac and cheese…and other yummy stuff with my family. Going to be a small group tomorrow. Just six of us. Usually there’s more like 10-20 depending on which uncles, aunts and cousins show but kind of all scattered around this year. Of course sometimes smaller is better. And I’m sure we’ll enjoy the eats and the company.
So, today I was feeling a bit better (thank you God) and decided to try and run today. I was still pretty congested so wasn’t sure how it would go but was determined to at least TRY. I’ve been itching for a run since…Saturday.
Funny…it wasn’t so long ago that I looked for excuses to NOT go run. Being unable to breathe through my nose would have more than qualified…but not now. Now I try to find reasons to go run and get frustrated when I miss a run – even if I have a good excuse. Guess that’s a good thing.
Started out with my usual 5-minute warm-up. No problems. Started running…but started off easy. After 5 minutes I was feeling pretty good. Started thinking about the race tomorrow, the half-marathon in two weeks…visualizing the start and crossing the finish line. Realized I was running faster…still feeling good. As I approached the half-way mark I was starting to feel it…and could tell I hadn’t ran in a week.
I took my two-minute walk break at half-way (it was needed and appreciated) and then hit it again. When I reached the last 5-minutes I was struggling a little bit but pushed through and finished strong. With warm-up and cool-down…4 miles in 50 minutes. That was SWEET! It was a really GREAT run. I’m looking forward to the race in the morning… I’m looking forward to 12 miles on Saturday…although my internal chatterbox is rattling off about how hard it’s going to be…how my last long run (of any significant distance) was a few weeks ago, I’m not ready, I can’t do it…blah, blah, blah. But you know what…that’s just talk and talk is cheap.
I’m learning that my little internal chatterbox (I need to come up with a name for it) is repeating what others have said in my past. And they lied…and I used to believe the lies but now I know the truth. I know that I CAN do it…I AM good enough…I will NOT fail. Nope…don’t believe the chatterbox anymore. Just lies…and there is a high price to pay for believing those lies. I know…I’ve been paying it for a long time…but not anymore. So, you stupid, lying chatterbox…you can just SHUT THE HELL UP!! I’ll rock it tomorrow…I’ll knock it out of the park on Saturday…and I’m going to OWN that 13.1 miles in Kiawah in 2 weeks…you watch me…and before all is said and done I will replace you with the TRUTH…
And I’m really looking forward to that day. I suspect it is just around the corner. I am already beginning to feel the shift back to who I really am…and I am becoming who I am meant to be… Glad you’re coming along for the ride…it’s going to be a good one. Until next time, I hope you are well and that your internal chatterbox is telling you the truth…YOU CAN DO IT!!
I sometimes get the sneaky suspicion that all is not as it should be in my life. I think a lot of this comes from an unsettling disappointment I have about myself. Some of this disappointment is neurotic. Like when I want to impress someone with my intelligence and my words come out all jumbled up or I stutter.
Some of my disappointment is silly. I would love to always look like I just finished up with a GQ photo shoot, looking very charming and debonair.
Then there’s the deeper disappointment that I have a real tuff time with. When I look at my two sons as they play outside on their bikes and I think of the kind of father I want to be for them. I want to make lasting impression on them, so that when they look back on their childhood and they can remember a childhood that came straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting. I want to make believe with them, making all their dreams come to life. I want to catch lighting bugs with them in the hot summer nights. I want to take long bike rides with them.
I look at them through the den window as I am on the computer doing schoolwork as they are riding their bikes and I’m reminded of how the day really went. I remember them fighting over who gets to be first on a Wii game and me telling them to be quite so that I can work, to busy to show them how to resolve a conflict. I remembered how stern I got with my youngest son, Nole, when he didn’t do exactly as I told him getting mad and making threats – just because I’m his father and I can. I remember the fear and hurt I saw in his eyes as lashed out at him. I remember instead of catching lighting bugs I hurried them inside to take a bath, so that I could have a moment to myself. I’m so disappointed in myself at times.
I’m also disappointed in myself not just as a father, but also as a husband, son, and friend at times. I know that my life was created for so much more than just being overwhelmed with work and school. I have a purpose in life; I have an opportunity to do something great with my life as we all do.
I am disappointed that I don’t love God more and willfully sin so much against him. I can get insanely jealous if someone I know succeeds more than I. I am disappointed at how petty and shallow I can be at times. I can lead people to believe that I have it all together and yet I feel like at times my world is falling apart.
These are just some of my disappointments. I have darker ones that I am too ashamed to admit, as I’m sure we all do. So why do so many others and I feel this way? Some may say it is a lack of self-esteem, this may be true in part – but as I get a little older and hopefully a little wiser, I believe it is a deeper problem. One that lurks deep within our soul, that we don’t like to admit, which is a failure to be the person God first called me to be.
I feel if I had always pursued God as my two boys pursue life, I would not feel such disappointment as I do. Although as an adult I have forgotten what it was like to dream big dreams as a child. I have forgotten what it is like to give God my all, as my boys do when they play. If I were to do that then I would be in a much better place as a father, husband, son, and friend. I would be more of the man that God first called me to be. So for all my disappointments I am glad my God is a God of second and third chances, so it is my prayer today that I would seize all the little opportunities He has given me to be the person He intended me to be.
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness. And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters. And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.
And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day. And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so. And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good. And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.
And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good. And the evening and the morning were the third day. And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:
And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so. And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also. And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth. And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good. And the evening and the morning were the fourth day. And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.
And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God said that it was good. And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth. And the evening and the morning were the fifth day. And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.
And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good. And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him, male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.
And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so. And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them. And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made. And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made. These are the generations of the heavens and of the earth when they were created in the day that the LORD God made the earth and the heavens,
And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew: for the LORD God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was not a man to till the ground. But there went up a mist from the earth, and watered the whole face of the ground. And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed. And out of the ground made the LORD God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
And a river went out of Eden to water the garden; and from thence it was parted, and became into four heads. The name of the first is Pison: that is it which compasseth the whole land Havilah, where there is gold; And the gold of that land is good: there is bdellium and the onyx stone. And the name of the second river Gihon: the same is it that compasseth the whole land of Ethiopia. And the name of the third river is Hiddekel: that is it which goeth toward the east of Assyria. And the fourth river is Euphrates.
And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die. And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
It has been awhile since I have been able to make a post, but it is really nice to have a few extra minutes out of my day to sit down and getaway into SL. The cold weather always brings my favorite time of the year the holidays. Yes I am one of those people who shops early for gifts, plays holiday music all day, fill my home with holiday scents and decorates in time for Thanksgiving. So why not in SL? Well my bf and I are not that quite organized in SL but slowly we are sorting out the sim in time for a warm and cozy holiday dinner with close friends to sip eggnog and hot apple cider in front of our warm fireplace.
This year I am starting a new holiday tradition with my friends in SL. Yeah we can do the traditional holiday dinners in SL and gift exchange, but why not get creative with ideas to spend quality time with those that make your SL one of a kind. This year I have decided to invite my friends over a few days throughout the month to have an all out blast to decorate gift boxes, snowmen, ornaments, gingerbread men/women etc. It does take time to setup create and/or buy the items you need, so make sure to plan it out well. (*Just a side note make sure to check the permission of items when purchasing to make sure they allow you to share them. ) Once you have all your supplies, arrange them in order and set them to buy at 0L. It is a really good idea to set out an example you have created so your friends can have ideas while assembling together their very own project. Make sure you have a variety of items, for example, for a snowman create a cone nose, twisty nose, twig from a branch nose and so on then everyone can choose from several different pieces to make their very own creative one of a kind snowman. Why not set your sim/parcel radio to holiday music when everyone is there to share the holiday spirit. Even if it is a bit artsy/crafty/Martha Stewarty you get an opportunity to spend time with your very special friends.
If you have further ideas you want to share, leave me a comment I would love to read what is on your mind!
Today I chose to wear something too keep me warm in these freezing cold temperatures. There is nothing more classic and warm than a heavy wool coat, tights and boots.
Style Notes
Coat – KUROTSUBAKI Red Poncho
Tights – Twosome Cozy Gray Tights
Skirt – LeLutka Paine Mini in Chocolate (group gift)
Param Pujya Sant Shri Asaramji Bapu: “I said many years back, that I want to see India as a superpower. It’s 2007 now, in 2010 there would be such rays from the sun that would damage your TV mobile. Then India would become a superpower in 2011. TV and mobile have also lowered human values, these all would be damaged. There would be such rays from the sun that would vanish all the satellite systems. Radio, communication systems, mobile all will come to a stand still. Humans will go back into the age of Satyug. Nature will create the environment of superpower. Scientists are saying this, that in 2010 there is possibility of such sun rays. I said it is good. Background for us is being created. Whatever kids (scientists) discover is ok. If he (Bapuji) wills then God also adapts accordingly. It is said that if he (Bapuji) wills then dead also becomes alive. So if a will comes to make India a superpower then God and Nature also adapts accordingly. If you don’t want it for yourself then it’s done. Anyone can take the fame. You take the fame. Anyone who brings something for me, I give him back. Samiti can take the fame. It organizes and do everything. I don’t do anything. Don’t do anything right now. No prayer, meditation nothing. Keep sitting like this. Rest….. One bapu has shaken whole India and whole world. Where is such kind of Bapu in any other country? Do you get bapu like this in any other country? Was there Lila shah Bapu in other countries? Was there Nanak bapu? Was there Kabir bapu? In this country only they are. Who can take to God.”
Gurudev satsang, Subtitles: I was a deity once. I was a sage once…many purans still contain my stories. This is 70th time I have come to earth.
Even if God or saint bless you to get beneficial things still that thing won’t stay forever. Only their knowledge will stay forever. That the beneficial and adverse both are dreams. Through which they are seen (felt) is our eternal immortal soul. This is the highest knowledge.
Don’t be slave of your wish. In whichever thing you feel attachment is there distribute or donate that thing.
If you have fear of death go to graveyard and see to those who are dying and tell your self that this is death.
Whatever road blocks you face in coming towards God either remove them or ignore them. Don’t consider roadblocks as roadblocks.
In every situation equanimity yoga should be done.
http://www.ashram.org/
View More Videos at http://vimeo.com/user647845/videos http://www.hariomgroup.org
I’m looking forward to 12 miles on Saturday…although my internal chatterbox is rattling off about how hard it’s going to be…how my last long run (of any significant distance) was a few weeks ago, I’m not ready, I can’t do it…blah, blah, blah. But you know what…that’s just talk and talk is cheap.