Headphones

Back in April, Jars of Clay released their newest CD called “Long Fall Back to Earth.” Instantly, I was a fan. (In fact, I think it’s been out of my car for maybe a week total since then. I listen to it all the time. The song called “Headphones”, however, reminded me of my one true addiction in high school (besides chasing the boys, of course).

I couldn’t go anywhere without them. I had them at school (so that I could listen on the trip to and from, of course), while I cleaned our church, on quiz trips. You name the place, and I probably had my headphones with me. Back then we didn’t have mp3 players, so I had to settle for lugging around my tote of CDs as well. I wasn’t even deterred when my CDs were stolen at a church camp, it just proved that I needed to keep them with me rather than leave them with my stuff.

One of the times I was at work cleaning the church, the pastor of my church said something to me in passing, something I took personally and was offended by at the time, but now I look back and realize that he was right. He said something to me about  how maybe I spent too much time listening to music, that it was an idol to me.

Looking back, I realize that I used them to block out everything going on around me. I claimed that I just connected with the music and used it as an “outlet” to “express my feelings.” In reality, I was expressing nothing. I was listening to others express while I only empathized with what was being said, as if I knew the lives of the artists or something.

Since then, I’ve learned of other ways to actually think for myself and express my own thoughts. (Crazy, I know!) Writing has become one of those outlets. I wrote minimally in high school, but college is when I realized quite how much I could use them to my benefit. Now, let’s just hope that I don’t become quite as dependent on my pen as I was on my headphones back then.

I’ve included the lyrics (and a link to a YouTube clip) to the song I mentioned at the beginning in case you want to know the exact lyrics.

“Headphones”

by Jars of Clay

I don’t have to hear it, if I don’t want to.

I can drown this out, pull the curtains down on you.

it’s a heavy world, it’s too much for me to care.

If I close my eyes, it’s not there.

With my headphones on, with my headphones on

With my headphones on, with my headphones on

We watch television, but the sound is something else,

Just a song played against the drama, so the hurt is never felt

I take in the war-fires, and I’m chilled by the current events

It’s so hopeless, but there’s a pop song in my

Headphones on, in my headphones on

With my headphones on, with my headphones on

With my headphones on, with my headphones on

With my headphones on, with my headphones on

At the Tube Stop, you sit down across from me.

(I can see you looking back at me)

I think I know you

By the sad eyes that I see.

I want to tell you

(It’s a heavy world)

Everything will be okay –

You wouldn’t hear it,

(I don’t want to have to hear it)

So we go our separate ways

With our headphones on, with our headphones on

With our headphones on, with our headphones on

I don’t wanna be the one who tries to figure it out,

I don’t need another reason I should care about you,

You don’t want to know my story,

You don’t want to own my pain,

Living in a heavy, heavy world,

And there’s a pop song in my head,

I don’t want to have to hear it.

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