Sunday, January 31, 2010

31 jan 2010 - matched

i wrote a post abt a major mismatch in my life… this morning i woke up thinking abt some of the good matches… and as i reflect upon the good matches i hv found or rather who hv found me (as i dont really go out and make friends on my own volition, somehow they just ‘friend’ me), i realise the good matches outnumber the bad… i kw, i m far more lucky than many many frustrated aspies that i read abt, or hear from, around the world, who share one common problem – making friends…

my five years away from my mix-matched girlfriend… i went away for undergraduate studies… and, like many many aspies, i m no different not special from them, i did not hv many friends… but just two kids at university… who, more than twenty years later, are still my friends and who care for and support me in ways that hv never condemned me for who i am, even when i didnt know who i really was!…

one, now a happily married man, lives in another city, but he and his wife keep in touch with me and check in on me every now and then just to see how i m doing here on my own… his wife is a sweet gentle person, and no she doesnt slam doors or shout loudly… :-) and the other, now married with two delightful girls and a very nice husband, i still meet up with regularly once a month for our ‘catch up’ dates… quick lunches stolen in the middle of her very busy day, near her workplace, albeit too fleeting, but these are gems in my little box of treasures… and no, i hv never heard her raise her voice ever, except when we laugh together! ;-) then we get as noisy as all women can get…

then another friend, a brilliant lawyer, he saw me thru the darkest moments of my life… he offered me financial help when i was desperately poor – which meant so much to me, tho i never took up his offer… he wrote me emails every single day, and those email exchanges kept me alive, i poured out my crazed ramblings onto him and he never once complained or derided me or called me weak or stupid or a coward (which my mismatch girlfriend did)… he was the one who told me point blank when i was in the depths of self doubt and despair during the abuse that i put myself thru with that ugly blue frog and his pet skank : “do not insult the people who love u by thinking so poorly of urself, we r not idiots without ability to discern and choose who we wish to love and care about, u hv something in u which is valuable to us and that is what u should wake up to… instead of always looking at the ones who reject u for the negatives u r, start looking at the ones who love u for the positives u r… the goodness that u bring into our lives… “

and today, i will hv brunch with yet another friend, someone i became close with only recently, well, 3 years ago… we met thru a mutual friend, and he works in the same city where i live… we meet almost every weekend that we r able to meet, for good food and company… he pays 90% of the time, becos he knows i cannot afford the luxury, but i do try to chip in, by asking him over sometimes for a homecooked meal… he too saw me thru the recent hell i hv just come out of… i rambled at him, sometimes we even argued, but he was and is always there, like a dependable rock for my anchor… he has none of the diva glamour flair of my lawyer friend, but this relationship has taught me a lot abt patience, perseverance, and goodness of a different kind…

one more… a new friend too… a fantastic jazz musician and composer… we had initial arguments over my asperger’s and behcet’s becos he didnt understand these, but becos he truly cares, he has come to see my struggles and validate them… in our last conversation over dinner, after going thru a piano piece i m writing for him to play, i was telling him my dreams of finding a way to be useful to others like me, to children like me who need someone who has been there before to help them develop their talents and gifts in ways that perhaps neurotypical teachers or therapists cannot becos they just dont kw what it is like to be autistic… well, he told me something that brought tears to my eyes : “u have so many dreams, but yet u r so limited by ur different mind and ur physical condition… knowing who u r, i know how much u hv achieved, how much more than other ‘normal’ people, how much u hv struggled thru and triumphed over just to stay alive, and how much u hv overcome in order to develop ur gifts… ” … his words were an encouragement to me to keep going, they gave me strength for my hopes and wings for my dreams, that even tho i may never achieve the kind of ’success’ that other people achieve, even tho i m still poor, not independent at middle age, even tho my abilities far outweigh my superficial achievements, even tho i struggle so hard with so little obvious returns, i will not give up – i owe it to myself and i owe it to those who see who i m and who are here cheering me on!

then of course, my baby sister… not a baby anymore, she is also middle aged now, but she will always be my most beloved sister… she loves me so unconditionally… no questions asked… no remarks or comments abt my choices and often bad choices in life… she is there, she will share whatever little she may have at any point of time with me if i need it… she will take care of me if i fail, she will be there, and she will be there if i succeed to applaud me… yes we do hv our meltdowns with each other, but with her, there is always no condemnation, no stupid ignorant suggestions, no religious nonsense… just love…

and they all share one thing in common – NONE of them hv EVER sneered at my quirks, nor raised their voices at me, nor debased my inner yearnings, nor were ever jealous of my talents and gifts, and NONE of them are domineering, manipulative and crude… they are all gentle to me… and becos they love me so much, i hv learnt to love them and yes for them, it is worth learning to step out of my little bubble into their realm as far as i possibly can (tho i m sadly so limited) to try to show them i appreciate and embrace their love for me, and i love them back with depth and intensity!

today, and every single day of my life, i will give thanks with deep gratitude for the good matches in my life, becos they r my inspiration to reach for all that i m and can be, and becos i want them to be proud of me too!

[Via http://spunkykitty.wordpress.com]

Saturday, January 30, 2010

"... in Truth."

To worship on that mountain.
To dance in Zion’s street,
To worship in Jerusalem,
To hear GOD! in bare feet. A time is coming and now is,
When worship will not be,
In or on, with or without,
But IN Truth, and spiritually. God is worthy, any-where
Our
Souls
Should ever-see
And walk ever without sandals, for
All its ground,
Hallowed, be. “… in Truth,” He said, As if’t were a place,
That one might enter its gates,
Climb its lofty heights,
Cherish its intricate architecture!
Or,
Reverently enjoy its sand between the toes! This, is where I will worship my God! In Spirit, and… in Truth!

[Via http://silencespoken.wordpress.com]

Thursday, January 28, 2010

vinegar, pistachios, scales, and baby carrots a.k.a. "chicken nuggets".

well, i am getting more and more into foodie experiments. this week, eating week 2 has been an interesting change. i am in love with balsamic vinegar, and if you don’t already put this on everything you eat, you should start. i cannot get enough pistachios and was able to find a 4lb. bag of them at sam’s- they are still expensive compared to most of what we eat but tad and i love them. we are going to start buying peanuts with shells on them too, just because it’s so much fun to crack things open. 

one warning i did want to share though- on sunday i bought a new toy- a kitchen scale. $30 at target for one that i really like, with a tare function and both ounce/gram units. it’s been seriously disturbing to see how different the serving sizes are when you weigh food versus measuring out a portion. labels lie. they want for you to consume more food than you need so that you feel more satisfied, less guilty, and so that you buy more sooner. i would highly recommend investing $15-30 on a scale, measuring out your servings for a while, and getting accustomed to the ACTUAL amount of food you can eat for the calories advertised. i found that i was eating probably 300-500 extra calories that i was unaware of. which for me is an entire workouts worth of food. 

one thing that i will not be buying any more of is baby carrots. for some reason, i thought that baby carrots were the same as big carrots, they were just chopped up and peeled. um wrong. they are manufactured from cheaper bits of carrots and mashed together, dyed, and flavored. one might compare them to “chicken” nuggets at mcdonalds. they are also more expensive and less nutritious. however they ARE more flavorful (in my opinion), but billions of chemicals are put in them to make them that way. sad day. one more food out the window. don’t know how i didn’t see that coming. this kid told me everything i needed to know to never want to buy them again.

[Via http://libbydelay.wordpress.com]

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Refusing Dawn

“Outside… I’m masquerading,

Inside…My hope is fading..”

                                           Smokey Robinson, from  ” Tracks Of My Tears”

                         –              –            –             –               –

                     REFUSING  DAWN,  AND  GUTS  FOR  LOVE

I can Recognize, but hell,
I can’t Realize so well.  

I’d drink more coffee but my cardiologist insists I don’t
I’d drink more coffee but my heart man
prescribes “not so smart, man”.
I’d think more whiskey would push me
to bask at last in a primal light,
but my general practitioner generally frowns
about practicing until I get it right.
I’d read more
but eyes see less.. I digress,
I’d come 2/pray more/give in/give more/dream-sleep in/weep for once/
walk the lit dark like I used to/
take the darklight I’ve refused to.
I can Recognize, but hell,
I don’t Realize so well.

[Via http://namelessneed3.wordpress.com]

Sunday, January 24, 2010

A *Dream* is a wish your heart makes...

Sanura Snowpaw of *Dreams* They Do Come True was kind enough to drop me a review packet FILLED with her latest releases in so many colors that I literally fainted. Seriously. I would have a pic of my unconscious avatar, but I figured that that would be a tad inappropriate. Anywho, the first part of the gift contained her new cropped knit sweaters, which comes in a variety of colors! All colors are shown here, because frankly, that is how much I love you guys. Well that, and all of them are tres, tres yummy. True story.


How cute are they? They come in shirt, jacket, and underwear layers for easy styling. I love how Sanura has both dark and light colors, which is perfect for pretty much any mood you happen to be in. I set up a complete look of the day (sort of) based around it. It’s pretty casual, perfect for hanging out with friends or even hopping around the grid.

Hair: >TRUTH< Audrey – Blacks and Whites
Sweater: *Dreams* Cropped Knit Sweater {White}
Jeans: *League* Garage Jeans – Cool Blue
Tattoos: >>Moloko<< Stars and Swallows
Shoes: *Redgrave* Girls Biker Boots -Black-

And if that isn’t enough to make you love dreams, check this out:

They also have cute bow tanks available in a myriad of colors! :) Okay, I know I only posted three of them here, but that’s kind of what happens when you fap and blog at the same time! Trust me, the colors are AH-MAZE-ING!

Visit *Dreams* Today!

Until next time, blogites!

xoxo

[Via http://lafamiliafashion.wordpress.com]

Saturday, January 23, 2010

The Emergent need for Christ

“Some people today may find it compelling that some Great Cosmic Transaction took place on that day 1,980 years ago, the God’s wrath burned against his son instead of against me. I find that version of atonement theory neither intellectually compelling, spiritually compelling, nor in keeping with the biblical narrative.” (Tony Jones “Why Jesus Died,” 4-10-09, www.beliefnet.com)

The Emergent church has received much warranted and unwarranted criticism over its inaugural decade. Because the Emergent doctrine is intentionally nebulous in definition one cannot speak generally about the movement as a whole. Therefore in order to gain any sort of pulse as to what is being said by this group, we are left with no choice but to look to the individual leaders who are driving it through books, conferences, and social mediums of every kind. This leaves us with quotes like the one above to help piece together the mosaic of the Emergent movement.

The above quote is emergent church guru Tony Jones, author of the book The New Christians. Though he is clear to state that he does not speak for everyone in the movement, I’ve been hard-pressed to find an author/ “leader”/ Emerging “ethos” contributor within the movement that has a differing opinion with Mr. Jones concerning relative/absolute truths. Hard-pressed to find someone that doesn’t make Christianity a philosophical, humanistic understanding rather than about Jesus. I’ve read somewhere near 45 of the main books driving the movement, talked to different leaders like Mr. Jones, and was once a part of the movement or at least the “vibe” of it for many years.

The goal of this post is to be merely an introduction to some of the concerns within the Emergent church. My fight is to see that the truth of Jesus Christ be forefront in a place where people like Brian McLaren, Doug Padgitt, Peter Rollins, Phyllis Tickle, Spencer Burke and many others are diminishing His value

For the un-initiated, allow me to try to add a little definition to the movement that they do not to define. The Emergent church is a group or collection of people who are seeking to make a form of Christianity that is more relevant to our present Western Culture. In theory, it’s a way for Christians to join the ranks of the society around them and be Christians within their environment. Whether that’s hanging out with the fray at the local bar or joining a local bowling league. The premise is that Christians should not separate themselves from society into sheltered Christian circles, but they join society as Christians. They call this being “missional”; missionaries to our communities. Here is how Mr. Jones puts it:

“The emergent church is a way for us to figure out how to be Christians in a globalised, pluralized environment. Making the church reflective of the society that is around it… The push is for the church to become more participatory. In other words your opinion about the Bible becomes part of your churches orthodoxy”

This statement is where the Emerging/ Emergent “ethos” gets fuzzy and is translated into an unnecessary dichotomy between Faith and Practice. This point is also where the average person shrugs their shoulders and where most theologians throw up in their mouths. Being that my aim isn’t to help theology students but the average “Joe” better understand the Emergent church, I’ll leave the comparison/ contrasts for those capable theologians who have books out on the matter. (see- D.A. Carson, Tim Keller, John Piper, Mark Driscoll John McArthur etc.) I’ll state the problem as plainly as I see it:

To make Christianity reflective of a society and culture that hates God and has made sexual immorality, self gratification, and greed idols of worship isn’t a new way to do Christianity, it’s a way to depart from Christianity. Scripturally, I believe a lot of what is being said is what the Apostle Paul warns us to stay away from in I Timothy 6 when he says:“If anyone teaches a different doctrine and does not agree with the sound words of Jesus Christ and the teaching of godliness, he is puffed up with conceit and understands nothing.”

Adele Sakler, who heads up the Gay, Lesbian, Trans, and Questioning side of the Emergent church called “Queermergent” is one of many whose life has been led away from Christ and into sin because of the teachings of the Emergent church. On her site Why Queermergent? She describes her transition in the following statement:

“I began to read Brian McLaren and found him writing things I had felt inside but was very afraid to express outwardly to anyone. In 2002 I went to Northern Ireland to do a DTS with YWAM.I met the great Peter Rollins and we developed a great friendship. His teachings and writings on postmodernism and Christianity radically shaped how I viewed my faith. I could no longer hang onto certaintywith regards to interpreting scripture… There were more important things in kingdom living than where we go after we pass from this world to the next, like poverty, AIDS, the environment, etc. About 2.5 years ago I FINALLY came to terms with my sexuality. I found peace with myself and with God. Coming out was fairly painless with the exception of a few people who still think I am in sin and going to hell. I no longer hold this view and I am ok if people think that about me.” (Adele Sakler, “Why Queermergent?” queermergent.wordpress.com)

I Timothy 1:15 “Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.” Again, my fight is not against Adele Sakler, Peter Rollins or Brian McLaren. My fight is for people to know the truth about Christ before it’s too late. I want them to know that there is reprieve from suffering for the next 40-60 years of their lives and to know that they were created for so much more than simply trying to survive life without pain. Humans were created for so much more than coming to grips with their sin. They were created to experience the Divine pleasures of a loving God. We were made to communicate with Heaven, and live lives of peace and joy that only comes from life in the Holy Spirit. My fight, my cry is that people know that they can answer the question “Why do I exist”. We can have real freedom from the one thing humanity has been longing to be free from since Adam and Eve took a bite of that apple; sin.

I agree that the church in our culture is failing. Newsweek estimates that 25% of nationwide congregants have left the church in the last 10 years. The church has failed to love its fellow man as secular organizations out give and out serve the church worldwide. Yet, that lack of innovation is not our greatest peril.

The problem in the church is that it has wavered from making Christ the center and adopted a humanistic deism that puts the responsibility on the church to be inviting instead of Christ to be impacting.

The solution is simple and found in Luke 18:1-9, Col. 3:1-4, and Matt 5, 6, & 7. “When the Son of Man returns, will He find faith on the Earth?”

He won’t if we are found putting more faith in our intellect, schemes, and ministry models. The answer is knee wrecking, ear straining, eye squinting, heart wrenching prayer. The answer is a people with faces set like flint, stumbling in a dark world with only the light of His face to guide them. (Is. 50:7-11) In our misunderstanding of prayer, we have cheapened our primary tool to seeing God’s power break in to our lives, and we have been found bankrupt in our attempts to impact society.

My desire is to expose lie of the Emergent church so that Jesus can have His glory. My prayer is that those perpetrating such lies would be set free by the power of Christ that they have so wrongly ignored and misinterpreted.

[Via http://zackhensley.wordpress.com]

Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Customer Isn't Always Right, But They Are Still The Customer.

It’s a motto I carry with me. I do everything I can for my customers, and more sometimes. I have gone out of my way for them, and for the most part care about all of them. But with that being said, they are not always right in every situation. They are still people, and people sometimes bend the truth in their own favor. Doing warranty work for a customer is where this comes into play. The manufacture clearly states that they will warranty only what has failed from quality or workmanship of their product. But customers try and push that limit, because they broke said item. But instead of fessing up, they blame the part breaking on a quality issue. I have seen it time and time again. But instead of blowing the customer off, I do what I can to resolve the issue with what is fair for all parties. Showing them why it cannot be covered and what it will take to remedy the situation. 99% of the time it works, and 1% it doesn’t, you can’t please everyone.

So moral of the story, take the time to listen and explain to the customer what you can and can’t do for them. Because even if they are in the wrong, it doesn’t mean you don’t want them to ever come back.

[Via http://whoscolin.wordpress.com]

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Simón Dice

Simon Says, “Shades on, cash out.” Newt at …:::Keke La Diva:::… for teens :D Lumina mini dress. Available in Pink, Cyan, Navy Blue, Lime Green, Red, and Yellow. This sexy and sleek design features sleeveless arms and chain-linked bra strap. Glitz and glitter printed design on front and right side.

LOOK 1:
Hair: TRUTH
Shoes: Chuchulet
Shape: …:::Keke La Diva:::… -soon released teen shape-
Skin: Vive 9
Glasses: …:::Keke La Diva:::… Diva Shades Zebra

LOOK 2:
Hair: YuNA
Shoes: Chuchulet
Shape: …:::Keke La Diva:::… -soon released teen shape-
Skin: Vive 9
Glasses: …:::Keke La Diva:::… Plaid

LOOK 3:
Hair: Mirai Style
Shoes: Chuchulet
Shape: …:::Keke La Diva:::… -soon released teen shape-
Skin: BRB WITH NAME :D
Glasses: …:::Keke La Diva:::… Diva Shades Plaid

[Via http://kekeladiva.wordpress.com]

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Stop the Fraud & Defamation

CITIZENS 4 JUSTICE blogsite is another Guardian for Truth & Justice!

We protect consumers, individuals and companies that have been defrauded.  Here we reveal cases of scams, conspiracies and racketeering, forms of bullying and cyber-terrorism and identity theft tainted with defamation.  Numerous scam reporting sites across the web are being used by unscrupulous people to harm innocent individuals and companies and even to blackmail them with threats and extortion.  We protect against the scandalous fraud, the hurtful libel and slander by providing the TRUTH.

FRAUD: wrongful or criminal deception.  Noun: a person or thing intended to deceive others, typically by unjustifiably claiming or being credited with accomplishments or qualities; tricksters and fraudsters, scam artists, con men, con artists.

SCAM: a dishonest scheme; a fraud, swindle, fraudulent scheme, racket, trick; con, hustle, flimflam, bunco, grift, gyp, shakedown; scammers, con man.

DEFAMATION: character assassination, vilification; malicious gossip, aspersions, muckraking, disparagement, denigration; smears, slurs; slander; libel

CITIZENSFORJUSTICE.ORG — TOP FRAUD CASES

Wim Dankbaar: Dutch Blogger  – “JFK Murder Solved”
Fraud Author:  Conspiracy to Commit Fraud, Deceit, Malicious Libel, Slander, Harassment, Blackmail, Extortion, Misuse of Free Websites, Email Spam, Abuse of Internet Systems, Threats.

Monty Roberts – Horse Trainer — The “Horse Whisperer”
Fraudulent Author:  Deceit, Breach of Contract, Animal Abuse and Neglect, Negligence & Personal Injury, Filing False Police Reports, Posting Libel, Harassment.

Monsanto: Big Agribusiness — Pusher of GMO Foods/Pesticides
Deceit, Negligence; Ecological Mayhem; Conspiracy to Harm Humans & Wildlife; Theft, Trespassing and Threats to Farmers; Poisoning of Plants, Humans and Animals; Conspiracy to Infiltrate US Government and Unduly Influence the Legislative Process.
LEGAL JUSTICE SITES, BLOGS AND IMPORTANT LINKS

These sites speak up the truth and reveal consumer frauds.

AllForums.com: Fraudulent author warnings about people like Monty Roberts, Wim Dankbaar, James Frey, fabricators of literary scams with books and materials for profit.

CitizensJustice.org: Devoted to exposing Wim Dankbaar’s-James Files – JFK Murder Hoax/Dankbaar Internet Stalking and Defamation with Michigan resident April Kelley.

CowboyJustice.org Web Legal and Justice Portal links page.

FameandGlory.com:  Truth or Fiction – does anyone know the difference anymore?  Does anyone care?  Fabulous fakes and phonies, top literary fraudsters duping the public.

JamesFilesFraud.com:  JFK-murder scam/hoax perpetrated by imprisoned criminal and con man James Files and Dutch blogger Wim Dankbaar.

MontyRobertsLies.com: Horse trainer Monty Roberts, the man who supposedly listens to horses, actually abuses them and sells scam products and defames his family.

HorseWhispersandLies.com:  Book by aunt and cousin to horseman Monty Roberts which exposes the lies and fraud of the celebrity horse trainer who has duped the world.

USAViews.com:  a blog that exposes government fraud and waste and improprieties in business and the legislative process.  This site has picked up on the Dankbaar-Kelley fraud alliance.

USAViews-April Kelley ID Theft Warning:  Special warning reveals how Michigan internet stalker April Kelley has engaged in serious identity theft across the internet.

Libel (written) and slander (spoken) are both forms of defamation.  Today, though, the terms are often used interchangeably.  The bulk of the libel is being posted on a number of scam reporting websites.  One such site, if not more, is run by a reputed extortionist who charges victims top dollar to remove the offending posts.  The owner is facing multiple lawsuits.

Several posters whom we reveal here have joined with the reputed extortionist to perform their own forms of internet blackmail and threats.  Their actions are against the law.

We are guardians of the truth.  We are a support mechanism for our sister site, CitizensForJustice.org, a legal forum and justice blog.

[Via http://citizens4justice.wordpress.com]

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Pat Robertson : Haiti in a Rush to Limbaugh with Robert Pattinson

My thoughts on Limbaugh and Robertson fiasco.

I think what they said was rather ridiculous, but sadly one thing I don’t think the statements were, are signs of them lacking humanity. These two people spoke their thoughts, their human thoughts.

I will begin with Pat Robertson. Even if you don’t believe in the pact of the devil,  (and if you do you probably also are against Robert Pattison and all the other vampire craze instigators since we all know vampires are really demons and of the devil) but do in some Religion and Deity, then you may believe the earthquake was allowed to go down. Or it is some sort of Divine plan beyond our understanding. Or retribution for something or a continued battle between good and evil where evil won out or a test of our and their faith in him.

It is well documented that the impoverished tend to be more religious than the well off, Haiti is thought to be composed by around  80% Roman Catholics, 16% Protestant and the other 4%, other ( Religion in Haiti though some Vodou is present this is more of a cultural thing like the belief that one is not complete without a favorite football team or turkey on thanksgiving).

Pat Robertson said what he believes. He believes he has found the One way to human salvation. He opened with a comment on the fact more buildings having collapsed than not may be a blessing in disguise due to the rebuilding that may come, said some stuff about Napoleon the 3rd and a pact with the devil for freedom, then finished with saying we need to pray for them and hoping they all turn to god.

Haiti was emancipated from under Napoleon ‘Complex’ Bonaparte, not his Nephew Napoleon III, so we can say he was wrong. Wrong, but not inhuman, for to err is human to forgive divine. So we can say Robertson believes that the pact with the devil may only have been forgiven by a 100% christian population . Now since ) what would be ‘inhuman’ is if he kept this a secret. If did not do all in his power to convert everyone to this way to salvation. Felt he was safe so there was no need to speak out on this this earthquake as a warning, lest some other less than 100% christian country (USA is about 75%, though no devil pact is on record, besides record box office numbers and neilsen ratings since society sure does loooove vampires) have some terror befall them.

Rushing on to Rush (YEAH I SAID IT, WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT!?!)…It’s Rush, c’mon now. He prolly felt upstaged by Pat and felt he better say something soon. And this Devil thing, quite the headline grabber that is, what on earth could top that, what could hurt the most, oh wait I know, you know, Rush knew even Col. Jessup* knows. The Truth. Nothing hurts more than the truth. OFF COURSE OBAMA IS TRYING TO SCORE POLITICAL POINTS!!!

Please, no one anywhere should deny this isht. It is politics, politicians everywhere are trying to gain points on this. Is this the only reason they are helping? No, certainly not, this is a tragedy. Is how they are helping dictated by politics? Ah, Heeeeeellllzzzzzzzz yeth. Are countries looking at other countries to see what they give so they can match it and not seem to be slacking and not as caring? Of course not, that would be terrible to do, measure compassion. Are countries putting their political processes on hold so they can concentrate on Haiti and wait for their populations to settle back down and know what laws and such are being enacted and passed? eh whats that behind you?!?!

So Rush spoke the truth, it may be more heated because of what ‘colour’ Obama’s father was, who said it and the fact that there is that whole Obama won partially because of the light skin and no negro dialect.(that deserves its own rAnt in and of itself but all ill say is if Obama looked and sounded like flava flav  and said everything Obama said, Black people would have been the first to say “No, You Can’t!!!”)

Do you know anyone on Facebook with a help Haiti message? (my thoughts on Facebook status messages Jew know what Gaza did!?! / “(Your name) is my Hero” : best Facebook status message ever!” ) I do, not as annoying this time as other times.

I remember watching the news with my mom right after it happened, as the science guys gave us the science and the first twitter pictures (another thing that usually angers me but since its to good use and not people named after mexican alcohol use) were coming in to CNN. We discussed how late this happened, how long it will take for help to get there, how densely populated it is and finally just how high the death-toll will obviously be. As CNN and the other news outlets began to deploy their reporters, I thought to myself “not watching a news channel for a week.” I would rather check in on online sources than the 24 hour coverage. People will be dead, people will be helping, people will be angry, people will be praying, people will be confused, people will be crying.

My issue with this is the timing. If all the concern and aide that is pouring into Haiti had been given slowly and steadily over the last 50 years, the death-toll today would not be what it is 40,000 still buried and 100,000 feared dead so 140,000 by bbc internationals estimate an hour ago(I watched the news at diner time because there is literally nothing on most of the time, even on satellite TV). In a year or less most of us will return to being human and forget about Haiti and other places that need help. If being human is showing concern for people only after terrible things happen, then we should either strive to be more than human, or in the least break down these borders and let people know that terrible things are happening all the time.

  • *    ”A Few Good Men.” Tom Cruise, Jack Nicholson, goodness.

I usually give a lil extra below here but you know what there isn’t one, im going to try ad put up an illustration soon though.

[Via http://rantatonne.wordpress.com]

Thursday, January 14, 2010

the yoga collective

over the years i have had many requests for additional weekly yoga classes, prenatal classes, kid’s yoga classes, and so on. with a heavy heart i must always explain that in order to keep my whole life in balance i must limit the amount of classes i personally teach.

however, this need for additional yoga classes gave birth to my newest endeavor…. in the spring i will be opening a yoga co-op.  the yoga collective.

my vision for this collecvitve is to

  • create a space for the holistic practice of yoga where the yogic community to grow and practice together
  • provide a cooperative environment where independent yoga instructors can work together in supporting our business efforts and be a source of inspiration on our mats and in our lives.
  • provide affordable yoga where the class fees go directly to the teacher.

to begin, i would like to get some feedback from you, the community…

  • what types of classes would you like to see offered?
  • what days and times would best serve you?

if you are interested in becoming a part of the yoga collective as an instructor or would like more information feel free to contact me as well.

please e-mail me at motheryogi@mac.com.

namaste,

christy

[Via http://motheryogi.com]

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Challenge of long distance

Who i am is not simple, but i know what i want in life, i know who i am, and no one will change that, I do carry the ability of being happy without romance, because in all reality it’s not always the most important thing, just nice, humans always like the satifaction of having a place where they belong, knowing someone loves them, and people can’t resist that feeling. But I can’t change who i am just because of love, i won’t. 

So, yes, i am a confrontational person, i will tell people exactly what’s on my mind, when i’m happy, when I’m not, what i like about them, what i don’t, usually in attempt in talking through my issues. I do not hope in any means of hurting anyone, but i am one that feels that being truthful is a lot better than bottling stuff up. My goals in relationships is to make both of us happy, not just him, because being taken for granit is not one of my self goals, mutual happiness is my goal, which used to be easy. By being a confrontational person, i do admit makes me a bitch at times.

Relationships are complicated, i’ve heard my friends say that the first month or two is the honey moon stage, every thing seems perfect, like nothing could go wrong, it’s just pure happiness with one another. But relationships progress, you learn more about one another, there becomes less to talk about, and it gets more serious and easier to lose that spark. Especially with long distant relationships, there are rough spots, times of unhappiness, more times of missing each other and frustration and doubts, the clear idea tha,  that honey moon stage is completely over. The key to relationships is how strong the connection is to make it through those times.

So though i confront and know what i need to be happy, i may push it a little too much at times, for a moody boy like Patrick i should know to be careful. There’s no doubt that i love him, but relying solely on talking, i have doubts, sometimes i can’t just trust my heart or his. Sometimes i don’t understand why he can’t say what seems like something so obvious for someone to say to the one they love. So i question, i say what i think, and somehow i feel the want to go back on my words just because i don’t want to lose him.

But as i sat and thought in clas, giving him time to himself to think,  i thought, i still want happiness, before he came along,i was all about my independence, how i didn’t want or need a guy to break me, yet he was different from all the other guys i had ever met, and i fell for him. But as i thought, if things go bad, or work out, i should always keep in mind that this is my life, and every step of the way, i learn from my experiences, and my goal is to be myself and continue to stay happy, which i can only find from myself. So do i need to cry anymore? do i need to call and text hoping for him to finally respond?…..no,  he’ll be there when he’s ready, i don’t need to be obnoxious.

Psychologists say that separation weakens the romantic attraction, it’s sad but in some senses it’s true, from the rollercoaster of me and Patrick’s relationship in the month and half time period of not seeing each other, makes the relationship hard, even as optimistic as i am. I’ve never wanted to see someone as bad as i want to see him….what makes it harder is that every time i hope to see him, something goes wrong……am i strong enough?

I hope so.

[Via http://burtnay67.wordpress.com]

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Sometimes what we say and feel is repressed this time it is straight out. [Avatar]

I have never been one to be pulled in emotionally by films.

If you asked me what shaped my life I would probably say the way I see things, the way I see people and my past experiences. I would not name particular TV shows or films. If pushed I would name perhaps 2 films that I think may have affected me a bit but I would not have said a lot.
It takes a lot to stir me emotionally these days. Surrounded in a world I feel is dead against me where my chances are always working to hinder my progress rather than to help me progress. I deal with my emotions by locking myself in a room thinking. Listening to music, which evokes a similar feeling in me as the one I am feeling.
My desire to forget everything bad is one that I embrace with open arms. Ever since that day that I last saw my grandfather in hospital. My grandmother thinking I was too young tried to stop me from seeing him that day, my mother who has always been more open however let me in. As I stood there looking over him I felt something deep inside me. Sadly I cannot remember what he said. I think he may have said goodbye but that was it. After that came the funeral. I was completely lost emotionally I did not know what to feel I did not know right from wrong nor did I know how to react. I cried, I cried a lot. But in recent times I haven’t, recent being over 10 years. I can count all the occasions I have cried due to emotional turmoil on 2 hands. I remember them vividly. Those times when my hearts defences fall leaving me vulnerable. The times when I just sit there not knowing what to think, what to do, why to do what I am doing. I loose all faith.
From a religious standpoint I do not know what to think either. There may indeed be a being that is in some way connecting us all a God that is listening but letting us settle our own issues. I do not find consolation in this. Going to church makes me feel part of something, that is entirely true. But I don’t feel a presences, nothing consoles me. I pray sometimes. Normally when everything has already gone wrong, normally there is no chance to rectify the situation. In some way I pray when I have lost hope.
Sometimes I lie, I lie for various reasons, sometimes just to hide to truth but those truths are normally only covered by anecdotal lies, something which is so similar it may as well be the same thing just isn’t. perhaps places changes as well as names not to cover my or anyone else’s back but just so that I can say what I want to say without being overcome by emotion. Perhaps I feel that emotion is the one thing I cannot let through. I cannot show people that I am weak. I tell myself many times a day thing long similar lines. I am not weak I am the best I can do whatever I want. Never would I tell this to someone else. If you met me in the street I probably would see you look into you and look down, avoiding your gaze avoiding any contact. Although most people see this as a sign of weakness to me it is more a defensive mechanism. ‘ I do not want to be involved with you, I do not want to become more vulnerable.’
In complete contrast I have what I can only interpret as safe places, places I can go to where I can say, do, think, feel, or talk about anything I want. To me these places are safe both emotionally and physically. One place is a somewhere I refer to as the ‘view’ I go there probably about once a week. It is a 20-30 min drive from my house and unless it is summer the weather there is terrible. For some reason I feel that going there I will meet someone I can talk to. Not someone I want to have a relationship with, no just somewhere that I can talk to someone, tell my story. I have never done it but maybe one day it will happen.
I think I believe in fait. In some way some things have already been decided. The have already been chosen. Everything else is subject to change, but some things are going to happen no matter what.

I guess that would explain my inability to keep a stable relationship. One think that hit me hard was when an ex whom I still see told me that she hardly knew me. I find it hard to let people close to me see me as it were. Not in the physical sense, but emotionally. Perhaps I am being stupid but I don’t feel I can. Which is how I know that the person isn’t right for me. I can only truly give everything up to someone I truly trust. There are few people out there I do trust but those that I do, I think I would do anything for. I think I am not being over-ambiguous saying I would give my life for those people. They are people in whom I see a lot both a reflection of people I respect but the kind of emotion that most people are no longer capable of.
I guess at this stage anyone reading this thinks I am either completely off the rails or just plain lying. The Internet is full of people making bold claims but I have nothing other than my words to serve my story. What I write here is directly from my heart. I cannot give more than I am writing.

Which is odd, because all this was started be watching a film. Tonight I was watching Avatar, I have wanted to see it for some time, however only today did I manage to go and see it.
I feel that the film carried many many strong messages. From the point that sometimes the side of the fence we are standing on is indeed the wrong side, and that as great we all feel about our respective countries feel sometimes what we are doing is indeed not for the greater good. Something else that echoes that sentiment is the transition of the main character from human and ignorant to avatar and understanding. Our ability to learn is so special. Many animals possess it but none so much as us. We adapt we make things that most people would never have believed a mere 100 years ago let along 100000! This film almost shows the good in our species as well as the bad. We can at times be so destructive and sometimes we are so kind so giving wanting to help change something.
Another point this film makes is how much we have lost touch with the planet. I have always seen myself as ‘anti green’ but I think that this film has changed my perspective. I would not consider myself an eco warrior now, no that would be wrong. But I do feel I am more aware of what is going on around me.

So how does all this link to what I wrote earlier? Well emotion is what drives this film, and I think the film connected with me in more ways I even knew was possible. The emotional fight of the main character was one that I feel can be applied in many ways, to suit many different situations.

I sincerely hope that in one month, years, decades time I still feel as touched by this film as I do now, because, in all honesty, if I take away anything at all from this experience, it will change my life, and the way I look at it.

I am sure most people are now convinced I have lost it, but I guess the only person who really needs to believe this is me. I hope this gives me both the emotional strength and resolve I need to do just a few of the things I want to do so badly. Things that mean more to me than most people could ever imagine.

Sometimes, things really do work out and I am hoping, that maybe this is my turn.

I have not corrected the way this was written. I just sat down and wrote it. This is as raw as my emotion and therefore by editing it in any way I would feel as if I have in some way destroyed the actual feelings I wanted to protect in the first place.

[Via http://thelondonkid.wordpress.com]

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Winter Retreat

…and damn, is it wintry.

So, I escaped from the holiday season with nary a scratch, and a few resolutions.  No, let’s not call them resolutions – too stigmatized.  I came out with a mission.  I’d known for months that I would be returning to the apartment early, and for two primary reasons: to make use of rent that I was spending on it, and to settle myself.  And by that, I mean that I had recently decided to quit Engineering at the University of Illinois for good.

I’ve come to realize that the less I expect of myself, the more I do, the happier I am, and, ironically, the more productive I am.  A poor fit for Engineering, which has a great deal of expectations to live up to, which I merely put off and in many cases simply didn’t do.  All this created was anxiety, and not a productive anxiety.  Let’s face it, I went into Engineering as an experiment to see if I could conform to these expectations, and I was headed for a disappointment, so I jumped ship.

Anyway, settling myself involves just that – being by myself in my apartment and attempting to maintain some sort of healthy, creative rhythm, balancing what responsibilities I do have with developing myself in the ways that I want to develop.  Time to myself has meant that:

  • I sleep early. Generally around 11-12 at night, though there are exceptions.  Or rather, there has been one exception.  Got caught up in video editing.
  • I wake early and eat breakfast every day.  I think about what to make for lunch and dinner.  Then, I make it.  Then, unfortunately, I must eat it.
  • I make an attempt to play guitar…or rather, I pick up the guitar and see where that takes me every day.  I also pretend to watch lectures on it.  The bits and pieces of music theory that I learn, I learn in order to free myself, and liberating it is.
  • I sing every day.  But that’s not out of the ordinary.  I guess following the directions on voice lesson videos is out of the ordinary, though, so that’s worth mentioning.  I was skeptical at first with the Arceneaux Approach, but I saw immediate improvements.  Anyone else have experience with this?
  • I have been immersing myself in Chinese lessons (Pimsleur and CCTV Learn Chinese) and media (music videos, CCTV 新闻20分) a few hours every day.  I really need to start studying next semester’s characters – hell, I need to study all the characters we’re supposed to know by now, because after a 2 year hiatus, there’s not a lot I remember.  It’s strange, as a result of this immersion,  my mind tricks me into thinking people are speaking Chinese when they’re not.
  • I’ve been dancing most every day.  I missed one, so far.  Don Lee gave me a  few bboy toprock videos to work off of, and I’ve been working on that.  I’ve also been working on my dance sharingan, analyzing Taeyang’s Where U At.  I wanted to get this before break ended, but it looks like that’s not going to happen.  Oh, I think I’m on the verge of nailing flares and windmills.  I just have to take days off between practicing those because my shoulder can’t take it.  It’s a sign of poor technique – I don’t think my shoulder should be taking that much pressure.  Naturally, I’ve also been enticed into doing some tricks, because it’s fun.  Oh, while we’re on physical status, I injured my ankle last semester and I’ve been waiting for it to heal.  However, after doing rehabilitative stretches and exercises while idling, I think my ankles are better than ever.  They still twinge, a bit.
  • I have ordered all of next semester’s books through interlibrary loan.  I am about a quarter through the first one on Chinese poetry.  I should finish it soon, because I have five more to go.
  • But most of all, I’ve been trying to live up to one mission: To make something cool every day.  Something that I think is cool, anyway.  The Sean Hsu Diaries, the Apt21 video series (ep01, ep02, ep03, ep04, ep05), the making of which, by the way, made me realize how awesome my roommates were last semester, and the Mini Trick Montage linked above.  Thankfully, I think that covers every day of this year.  I was somewhat anxious to know if I’d truly lived up to my mission.

Living like this has given me hope for a future that I can look forward to, no matter what major I graduate with.

Well, that’s it.  Just a little of what I’ve been up to.

Now to pay the bills, somehow.

[Via http://briankung.wordpress.com]

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Sepatu Pria - Laki dan Romance - The Truth About Men dan Romance

Kebanyakan orang berpikir bahwa cinta adalah makan malam diterangi cahaya lilin mawar sampanye dan berjalan di pantai. Ini hanya bagian dari asmara dan mereka tidak benar-benar menjadi bagian dari asmara kecuali ada hubungan yang lebih dalam antara Anda dan pasangan Anda. Laki-laki dan romance adalah sesuatu yang wanita inginkan tetapi tidak tahu bahwa tidak setiap orang memiliki cinta dalam darah mereka. Ada begitu banyak lebih ke romance dari sekedar makan malam mawar dan pantai. sepatu converse Ada bumbu menjaga hubungan menyenangkan dan membuatnya menyenangkan setiap hari. Ada komunikasi yang tidak hanya berbicara. Ada begitu banyak lagi. Pria dengarkan karena Anda akan menemukan cara untuk menjaga wanita bahagia ketika datang ke romance.

Alright hal pertama yang pertama karena ini adalah sangat penting. JANGAN lupa ulang tahun peringatan hari ibu atau Valentine amp s day. Jika Anda lupa bahkan salah satu dari Anda akan menghabiskan bertahun-tahun berusaha untuk itu dan itu akan sangat sulit bagi perempuan Anda memahami bahwa dia penting bagi Anda. Jika Anda harus menulis mereka mengatur pengingat pada komputer atau ponsel atau apa pun yang harus Anda lakukan untuk mengingat mereka maka lakukanlah. Ini datang pertama dan Anda lebih baik tidak hanya ingat mereka tetapi membuat mereka seistimewa mungkin.

Kedua Anda perlu memahami bahwa Anda dapat menghabiskan . untuk sebuah cincin wanita dan tidak membuatnya merasa cara Anda dapat dengan mengeluarkan di sesuatu yang anda menaruh pikiran dan usaha in. Tidak lain yang bisa Anda pakai apa-apa dan memberi wanita Anda hadiah yang akan menunjukkan padanya bahwa Anda menghargai dia dan kau mencintainya. Ada begitu banyak hal-hal kecil yang akan membumbui hubungan Anda Sepatu Lukis dengan Sandal Sepatu cara Anda tidak akan pernah membayangkan. Anda dapat melakukan binatu ruang vakum memasak makan malam mencuci piring atau tugas-tugas lain yang Anda temukan berarti. Ini semua adalah sangat berarti bagi perempuan dan Anda akan menyentuh hati mereka ketika Anda melakukan hal-hal tak terduga.

Ketiga Anda tidak Sepatu Grosir dapat mengambil wanita Anda untuk diberikan atau menyerah begitu saja. Hal ini disebut berada dalam liang. Anda Sepatu Wanita harus selalu berpikir tentang apa yang dapat Anda lakukan untuk dia. Ini dapat mencakup meninggalkan surat cinta sedikit dalam cangkir kopi meninggalkan setangkai mawar di atas bantal atau di mobil atau Sepatu Converse melakukan Sepatu Online hal-hal kecil manis lain yang menunjukkan kepadanya bahwa Anda menghargai dia. Ini adalah hal-hal yang akan menambah hingga cinta di matanya. Sepatu Murah Tentu saja makan malam dengan cahaya lilin dan berjalan-jalan di pantai di malam yang romantis tapi karena Anda melakukan hal-hal kecil lainnya di reguler tapi dasar spontan Anda Toko Sepatu akan memiliki roman sudah ada dan berjalan di pantai bahkan akan lebih romantis karena itu.

Terakhir Anda harus memahami bahwa wanita memiliki sekitar kali jumlah emosi yang Anda miliki. Inilah sebabnya mengapa dia menganalisis Anda seperti orang gila. Anda harus secara konsisten memberi perhatian pada dia mengingat apa yang dikatakannya karena Anda sedang mendengarkan dan menggunakan petunjuk untuk keuntungan Anda. Anda dapat menemukan apa yang diinginkan seorang wanita ketika datang ke laki-laki dan asmara hanya dengan mendengarkan. Dia akan memberitahu Anda dan jika Anda menutup mulut dan membuka telinga Anda akan menemukan Sepatu Bola bahwa hubungan Anda akan menjadi salah Sepatu Kulit satu yang penuh dengan cinta dan anda akan merasa sepatu converse hidup karena Anda tahu cara memasang senyum di wajahnya setiap hari.

[Via http://sepatuconverse.wordpress.com]

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Free Boots from Mentine!

Perion told me about these when I logged in today…thanks, P!  Biddle Boots has rebranded to Mentine and reopened, and Perion was still on the subscribo.  Today a beautiful pair of boots went out as a gift and if you hit the subscribo, they are a welcome gift!  Yay!! 

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(click for larger)

~These Mentine boots have about a gazillion different ways to wear them…I am only showing a few ways here.  The sleeve can be worn up, down or as rolled jeans.  The texture on the sleeve can be changed to a bunch of different options.  The ribbon color can be changed, the zipper, metals, soles, etc…it can all be changed!
I would, were I you, keep the original box these came in as a backup.  If you get too far in and have changed a texture you didn’t mean to, it is nice to go back to an original copy.  The restore function didn’t seem to work quite right for me.
~I am also wearing a new skin release from Rockberry called Jules.  Heather very kindly dropped a sample pack on a blogger group I am in and I put it right on.  Very pretty all around and I just love the nose!  Close up to follow, after the boots.

 


(click for larger)

~2 of the sleeve textures…there is also fur, snakeskin and a bunch of others!

 


(click for larger)

~The rolled jeans option comes in several different jeans colors and you can also wear these with the sleeve up!
~Also…I forgot to take a photo…you get a pair of ankle boots in this gift!  They also have all the sleeve texture change options! 

 


(click for larger)

~a close up of the Rockberry Jules face.  Those brows are just perfect and I love the nose. 

Boots:  Mentine Subscribo Gift Pirate Boots Field  Free 
Jacket: Snatch Buffalo Plaid Bomber Jacket  
Dress:  Miseria Sugar Dress Cocoa (review copy) 
Necklace:  Bliensen + MaiTai Amber Down the Chimney Hunt Prize 
Hose:  Sh*t Happens Tintable Tights 
Skin:  Rockberry Jules B Light Dk brows/cleavage (review copy) 
Lashes:  Cake Bedroom Lashes
Eyes:  Poetic Colors
Hair:  Truth Anise Jupiter 

[Via http://slexandthecity.wordpress.com]

Sunday, January 3, 2010

My fantasy

I live a simple fantasy,
where you and me
are completely free,
to explore, to conquer,
the depths of intimacy.
Under shining stars,
by the deep blue sea,
over misty mountains,
in mellow creeks;
where pleasure and pain
will run through your vein,
you may fight the feeling
but you know it’s in vain.
Lie down, close your eyes,
can you feel me, deep inside?
feel my touch under your skin,
travel with me
through this valley of sin.
We’ve reached a holy ground,
looking back, aren’t you proud?
you have found
you, me and ecstasy.

[Via http://lightafiretonight.wordpress.com]

Saturday, January 2, 2010

The begining

I wonder how many people decided to start a blog on New Year’s Day 2010. Some, I’m sure, have started blogs in order to jump start a writing career. My goal, however, is not to write something that will one day end up as a book and then a movie. If it happened, I wouldn’t turn it down, but it is not the reason that I wanted to write down my thoughts.

The reason for this blog is to simply put into writing the thoughts that get stuck in my head. The truths and lies that I tell myself about who I am and what I want to become. Success will not mean that I will come to the end of this journey as a different person, I am very happy, most of the time, with the person that I am today. I want merely to have an outlet to explore all of the demons, the delusions, the half truths, and the complete falsehoods that I tell myself about who I am; the things that I use to stand in my own way.

I am not sure how long the journey will take, I may never find the complete truth. My hope, however, is that at some point along the way, I will be able to see a version of myself free from baggage, free from unrealistic dreams, free from self doubts that clutter my thoughts; a version of me thats just Todd.

[Via http://thatsjusttodd.wordpress.com]

Case Study: Religious Pluralism (a.k.a. the "Taste The Rainbow" of worldviews)

“All worldviews lead to God.”

This statement is either:

a.) True or b.) False.

If it is true, it must, by definition, include the view “NOT all worldviews lead to God.” However, if the view “NOT all worldviews lead to God” is true, then religious pluralism is self-refuting and therefore false.

Conversely, if it is false, then the view “NOT all worldviews lead to God” is true.

[Via http://mknz.wordpress.com]